The holidays are upon us and once again the hassle will start i should just jump right in.
I cancelled Christmas one year, i had zero help was working OT in retail and DH thought i should be able to do it all NOPE. I know he was mad and continues to remind me of that fateful year. This year our kids are grown they have different lifestyles and interests and do not need Stuff just because. I want to honor that wish and no longer give gifts out of obligation......... but as always.... DH will wait until last second and ask what did you get for x/ y or z??????
I tried to get ahead of the issue by saying do you want more knick knacks we don't need? ... well neither do they. it is not sinking in his thick skull.
I told him i am not sure we should even buy anything but a small item for grandkids as their other side of family ( dollar store type) fills their house with tons of garbage toys that they play with a few times and forget or break.
In the last year etc we just added money to a fund we started for them but once again DH is off on a buy garbage bonanza. He seems dismayed that some items are backorder and will not be available until january.....DUH it is midway in December.
This along with the fact we have personal business to take care of by end of year but he seems to think we have lots of time is driving me insane.
I get so much stress i just shut down. last week DH bought dinner on way home and only wanted a sandwich one night so in this weeks grocery i bought bare minimum ..... I buy with a meal plan in mind (yes it is communicated) but lately he is getting home earlier then me and (who knows why he has not done this in months) starts cooking something entirely different then the plan. throws off all my ingredients especially fresh items that do NOT last until next week. I have cut way back on produce because of this tired of throwing money away.
I have come to the point where i want to act like roommates buy your own food and leave me out of it.
This is the one time of year he simply does not stay with plans or evidently pays zero attention.
Last minute appease him BS costs me every year and simply put i do not have the extra as the company i am temping with shuts down for 10 days from Christmas to past new years and i will not have a check.
Maybe i just need to vent or maybe i need suggestions on dealing with the holiday disconnect.
The holidays are upon us and once again the hassle will start i should just jump right in.
Perhaps a strange title but i was looking around my house and noticed. there are some items that need to go.
Example my son a couple of years ago managed a store at a mall and then he bought me (well meaning) a ton of scented lotions from one of those shops like Bodyworks, you know then buy three get 3 great idea if you have 6 people.. but nope mom got all 6 used some tried different scents but honestly i could grease up an elephant with this volume. I have it in a line on counter try to use as I can but in all honesty the only reason I am keeping is sentimental not functional. i have hovered over the bin but put them back on counter telling myself to use more.
I have many items like this. When my mom passed I took items from her home as memories but also because i knew she loved them . Items costume jewelry i may never wear, candles i have in boxes perhaps in a major power outage i could burn them .... pictures I have never hung .... they do bring memories but as i get older I realize they mean nothing to my own adult kids i tell them stories they nod politely but a 3rd generation candy dish is not going to be a treasure for them.
Some items may mean something to siblings but i do not talk to them at all i am thinking in some cases i took items more so they would not take and sell them at the urging of relatives ( couple siblings have issues with substance abuse) but i did not need or want some items. I am not even sure how i could return these item to them have not spoken in years. i see now sooner or later memories disappear and who know maybe these item will be a garage sale after I am gone.
what is the best way to let go.....
I know as a financial site we discuss saving tips /good deals /better interest rates etc.
It is fun to see some bloggers get excited and inspired as they climb out of debt or start a journey into financial fitness. Even reading about items some do for fun.
I am on good footing lately but I am not I would say satisfied or really happy.
I have been talking to others and see that all jobs have problems and perhaps I should find a distraction like e-book or game to fill my time.
I am paid well for very little work. while great for me it is emotionally draining as I know people ARE paying a lot for the products this company is developing (medication) so i can play candy crush.
Ever wonder why prescriptions cost so much?
My savings and financial picture is making great strides and I am feeling ill about it.
The area we live is congested and sucky and so we seldom go out .... no spend days are so simple for me but I am bored. i wonder if it is a phase or just the way it is.
I listen to others at work and most people seem in similar situations of boredom and dissatisfaction. Many resort to eating. none look happy or even smile.
I have actually watched some gain weight since being hired.
I guess I need to find more hobbies or something.
i am tired of going to another placement after another to find same attitudes and disappointment.
Most of the fun or engaging jobs I have had were lower end and now that my resume shows a higher level most lower end pass thinking they could not pay as well or I would leave.
Life is about more then how much you make or at least i would hope so.
so i had a long weekend off the check for this week will be sad but as this is just extra income I am OK.
I went to a dermatologist as I had a new odd growth looked like a mole had all the " signs" the articles etc tell you to look for irregular edges / rough texture/ changing color /itchy etc.
Took this DR 15 seconds to say "Nope, it is a common benign growth ( long weird name) that has zero chance of cancer"
I was relieved but also felt a bit silly. i told him that i had been reading and this met many of items to look for and he said " yep see people all the time that DO NOT need to be here based on some fear mongering skin cancer article".
I was surprised by his candor and wonder how many people are taking time for appointments I missed 2 hours of work and paying co-pay etc for this sort of thing. Perhaps this is why we have such a medical care problem in this country... people who put stuff off or people clogging the system for no reason.
I KNOW i will think twice before running in based on "SIGNS" to look for not just misleading articles but if you look up in a site on internet often say the same thing.
this is new insurance so i am not even sure yet what this will end up costing me.
I can blame no one but myself. When i interviewed for this job it was mostly to get a practice interview and be back in a better place for job searching.
The last temp place ended quickly and had made me angry at the incompetence that i was hired for 6 months and it ended at 6 weeks because the manager hired based on false information. The amount of work was grossly overestimated or her regular staff was that slow.
I had doubts before interview thought they would go another way. I should have said no. The money is good/ i don't have nearly enough to do.
Now they have me doing more items involving going to other buildings we have i am now driving between them and I get no extra for gas.
Tomorrow they want me to drive into a large city we are close to for an hour meeting. Even on low traffic times the drive to and from will be an hour each way( pay for parking).
i am on the clock and therefore i would think that is a liability issue if i was hurt in an accident.
That is too much, I looked at public transportation would be 3 buses and 1 hour 49 minutes each way.
A day before a holiday most people will not even be there i am not happy. I may take a day off since i have not been feeling well and have a dr appt later today.
i think the travel between all these locations should have been told to me they said SELDOM ... not many times a week. They did not mention this place that is so difficult to get to.
The time is NOT distance but the insane traffic in this area. that puts my car at risk as they have many accidents in that congestion.
Everyone else is on salary so they seem put out that I do not take my computer home each day and answer their emails after hours. I AM hourly and it is not ok to ask me to work off the clock.
The meetings they have me take notes and order and serve food at are at lunchtime but they seem put out that I take my 30 minute Lunch break after the meeting. They want me to send emails and do items discussed in meeting to me that is working through my time.
I am trying to see the good in this job regardless of how boring it is.
I was upset about the decrease in savings partly because I thought some of the money was coming from a different source ( a joint account with DH)
I realize that this is not worth getting worked up about in comparison I am but should be MORE grateful that I have great flexibility in re-saving that amount etc.
I just need to refocus and plan for other items.
I am trying to think up Christmas ideas that have meaning not just gifts for gifts. I have been trying to get people experiences instead of stuff. I have 3 very different groups to buy for so it makes it especially hard but can search for ideas in my downtime at job.
We as savers carefully watch as our balances grow like a plant. Once in awhile something comes up and we need to spend some of our money.
In my case it is a long overdue furnace upgrade in house #1. In general it is a good thing and actually will be some what of an investment as it will be something I would have had to do if i was going to sell.
Not sure we will but the idea has been discussed.
i ended up taking some funds out of 2 accounts.
I simply hate the feeling of looking at the dropped balances.
I am freaking out about trying to get the balances back up and how long it will take.
i honestly do not think i have as much anxiety if i had charged it on a card instead. I somehow find it more comforting to watch a balance on card fall then how slowly accounts seem to build. i am down 5k.
In my head it all makes sense pay with cash funds... no interest etc ...........but i HATE spending an account that took almost a year to get to that point.
On the good news front after getting a letter saying my payment on house one could change due to escrow amounts i find out today it went down 39.23 a month and our car insurance also went down about $5.00 per month. i am trying to be positive that i can recoup my savings with the $44 extra helping.
So as i was planning to give notice i stopped my aggressive payoff retirement plan. Then when given a 5K estimate for a home upgrade made me stop and grin and bear this insufferable job at least til end of year.
So since i have the cash for home item, I started back on paying items and forgot I had sent a check for property tax as well. It is not a huge item as i have the money in account but it will put me UNDER my comfort level for that account. it will take two weeks to remedy this oversight.
I then switched and started using account 2 and had to buy car tabs.
I do not know why everytime it is such a hassle I have my cars registered at my primary address across the state and pay less then half what this side of state wants due to insane amounts of local taxes....
Example last year this side of state would have been $483 my cost was $98.
This IS legal to register anywhere in state if you have proof of residence, according to the state... so why these clerks treat me like i am stealing money from their pocket confuses me.
So after a very terse discussion I got my tabs and am thinking of making a complaint either on yelp or with the state as this is a group that does licensing work for the state.
i really am trying to avoid negativity but it seems to find me.
So DH ordered a couple of things on Amazon ( i try so hard to get him to quit due to their appalling practices) so an hour later I heard a commotion outside and they dropped off a pkg about 1 hour after order. 8pm Saturday ... then we wake up at 5am with a strange car in front of our house ....another package....5am on Sunday.... this is creepy IMO we did not need this item that fast.
So yesterday i was drafting a email to temp agency to let them know this job is insufferable.
I also met with manager at job and told him how frustrated i am that there is so little to do. He seemed shocked he thought what I was doing took more time he did not have any answer but wants to schedule more meetings..I gave him suggestions of how I might help but he was more interested in creating an agenda for our next meeting and turning my suggestions into a official sounding item.
I told him I worked through one list given to me from a co-worker and found half the people on list were no longer employed there.
All he said was "that is information management". I told him there are many other reports that might need to be gone through ..... he said maybe.
I do not have access to these why he would not just send to me to cut down these lists so they are accurate????
I was unhappy but told myself i would just give notice then .....
I needed to pick a couple items up at store and when got home DH had not even thought about helping cook or anything I blew up.
Later he told me he had an estimate to replace a 30 yr old furnace in our other home and it will take all of one of my EFs I have built up.
SO I guess I am stuck at this horrible job longer. I am beginning to wonder why?
I have been praying for a sign of what to do. sometimes I think things have a reason. when I was in another job that was supposed to last 6 months... I was approached with offer to apply for this JOB I passed because i had a job.
That job was over in about 5 weeks as the level of work was greatly exaggerated.
I simply answered a email about a different possible position to a different recruiter and the recruiters boss (who originally had tried over a month earlier) asked me to interview for this anyway I thought it was a sign as the job was still open and they are paying $5-6 more per hour so it was surprising to be open. (no one was ever hired so it was not they found out it sucked.) Maybe i need to stay longer when i finally was going to leave this $5000 estimate shows up.
I began working at a young age. Prior to a "real" job I did odd jobs and babysitting etc. i have always saved never had much use for trends etc.
Never knew what "i wanted to be when i grew up" and took and stayed at a job for many years based on benefits more then pay.
Well after my needs changed my DH wanted to move for a job we had talked about it for a decade with many many offers. Well we did it and he said you no longer HAVE to work. I did continue to work, part out of boredom part to continue paying things. i have NEVER liked this area it has been almost 7 years and still hate it. worked various places have not found a place i WANTED to stay plenty of offers from employers begging me to stay.
i have a friend whom has a seasonal job that from what i can see not great paying but she says she just LOVES it...
i am jealous i guess i want something i want to go to not hate so bad i start to have regular "sick" days just because i can not force myself to go. This current job has showed me i would work for half the pay doing the most mundane things i can think of and be satisfied.
Do others just suck it up and go when you cannot stand it?
If i hear one more person say " i wish i had so little to do" I might smack them.
NO you don't.
Yes, I have spent days writing for myself/ reading a book and surfing the internet even fell asleep once. This is in an open workspace so pretending to be busy is the normal although most days the ladies room is filled with people either talking or playing games on their phone.
This is becoming intolerable but people say i am crazy since they pay quite well for NOTHING.
I am not in the right frame of mind to interview for another position as this is a placement i will need to talk to both agency and employer to say no thanks can no longer do this. I want to maintain a relationship with agency in case i need another placement but i am worried if i let this fester much longer i will snap.
Well another week I made deposits to all accounts and paid extra on mortgage.... I should be thrilled but I HATE being bored all day at work.
I am less and less impressed with the people I work with as they all do so little it is amazing. I am really leaning towards giving notice. everyone in person tells me to just suck it up since they pay very well..... but it is eating at my soul to sit doing nothing and taking a check for it.
I feel bad because they would need to show a new person procedures i have learned to do here but I am becoming snappy at home simply put DH was used to me doing EVERYTHING when off work now he seems to expect me to come home and do all by myself.
I cannot be so frustrated and then face dirty dishes and a whats for dinner attitude from him. FIGURE IT OUT yourself i just spent 4 hours trying to stay awake i do not want to be go right to cooking.
I went across the state to see some family.
Lately i have noticed what i would consider places reverting back to practices i thought were gone.
when many places Started to take credit they set out minimum purchase or sometimes a fee to take credit and i had HEARD that some places have a block dollar hold until the transaction is complete like if you bought gas it may put a pending $100 until your purchase clears.
All of those things kind of disappeared for awhile (years) in my area.... now it is Back.
I am not sure why and i understand from the retailers standpoint the fees with credit are probably really eating into their income but i just seemed surprised this popped up. I check my accounts and almost freaked out it said i bought $100 in gas but it cleared as the $24 i actually spent.
Maybe in different areas this practice never stopped but in my area i am just noticing it coming back more and more with signs stating minimum $ for credit purchases etc.
The gas thing I remembered that was the practice before so i did not go into full WTH mode and make calls and it worked itself out as it processed but maybe someone did not have that leeway to have a hold on that extra money. they should let people KNOW put up a sign if there is a hold until processed.
perhaps people figured out that taking cards so they did not limit customers did not pan out and they are now forced to rethink if it is worth it.
so the place i work is very casual they often cater and any leftovers brought to break room in a help yourself manner.
they also have a company that brings in a lot of fruit twice a week as a snack or pick me up in afternoon according to their sign.
We have people who seem to feel this is a grocery store I went to rest room and when came back all items gone in 3 minutes. I see people with bags with 4 bananas and some other items pears/ oranges / apples on their desk. they also have tea bags that some pack into their purse or pockets.
I feel grateful if I get one banana if I crave a afternoon snack but think it is odd and bad taste to pack this up like we are in a scene from walking dead.
granted I do not know how much everyone makes I only assume at least what I do as I am a temp.
is this normal or tacky like I think it is?
another question as I know many people have a side gig nowdays for many reasons does the fact many here have other jobs etc that it tells me this place must not pay the regulars as well as i assumed even though frankly they are grossly overpaying me for what they have me do.
A few years ago i worked for a company that was great at hiding all their debt and bad practices. I had many friends at this place.
I left as I felt this company was very sleazy. Many friends stayed bought the lines that every company did these things whenever someone was about to get a glimpse of their DARK side. Most people whom left after me found out first hand the company was NOT whom the pretend to be to either employees or the public.
Well as I had predicted sooner or later it catches up and the company announced they will need to make cuts. I clicked on a link posted by a friend(on FB) and saw in the comments ( by employees across the company) that unlike the simple pruning they claim they made real cuts with an ax and almost the same day their public announcement came sounds a bit more serious then they let on.
I have not said a word ... yet some so- called friends (I guess think I might say "told you" ) just cut me off or blocked me. I have never said anything regarding their choice to continue working there only have told a few there are many more options out there.
I had tried to message a person before this happened but now I am sure they will not get back to me. Friends unlike money or jobs are not as easy to replace.
I recently have had the cold shoulder from a past co-worker/ friend that complained that she was not making money after daycare etc. I suggested an evening job so they could cut that expense ... OH NO she was not a retail or service industry person she was an office job type... fast forward marriage fell apart largely money issues and she is so proud of working evenings at a restaurant. so the difference must have been?
It is exhausting trying to stay busy wish they had more work they keep saying "more is almost here" so i will wait.
I have really done math while at work to see how much extra to pay off house in 36 / 30 / 24 / or 12 months.
I have been averaging somewhere between the 36/30 month category ( if 36 month will have paid the 15 year loan in 11)
It is weird that even with 20% increase in my income i somehow do not feel the progress i think i should.
my check is split 3 ways
25% goes to my everyday checking
10% goes to one of my three savings accounts
65% is in what i call my holding tank it is split to investments the other two savings and paying extra on mortgage.
So i had some small charges on credit and now i found out i did my math wrong and almost paid too much had to stop and wait for billing to catch up.
i am paying weekly as that is how temps are generally paid, this has always worked for me but sometimes my payments get there before bill cycle. more then one bill i end up with a credit on a bill. that just offsets charges for next month.
I can see small gains each week but it might be more rewarding to see one payment per month. oh well as long as it is credited 75 per week vs lil over 300 a month is the same.
it is easy to see how as people get a raise/ or a better job it can be absorbed and not noticed after a couple months.
It is a shame we lost so much both on the blogs and the forums there were many conversations that were really interesting to read.
I know things online sometimes have issues but it would be nice for an official what happened post.
I have been using my down time at my job to try to rework my focus in my budget. they have come up with a few things to do but not enough to be full time.
I have two routes #1 is to pay off extra on my mortgage which as i see it is a guaranteed return that is higher then my current savings accounts or #2 put into investments that are at best a crap shoot as they have been so up and down lately.
I have always been doing paying across the board but for some reason I am anxious to see bigger progress it is just a matter of looking at it i suppose if i save $500 and it goes into savings/ investments/ house etc it is still $500 if it goes to just 1 item like the house.
In many of my previous temp jobs i was feeling this anxious feeling when they were about to come to and end this job most likely will be permanent...... but I feel like i do not want to even bring in anything to personalize my desk it is a weird feeling.
the boss told me he is very happy with my work but I just am sure sooner or later they will see how small of workload there is and i am not needed or maybe part time.