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picking up the check

December 15th, 2018 at 11:23 pm

A little back story my spouse and I have been together for 34 years. we got married this last February. We have always had separate sort of finances. I have access to his accounts but he has no access to mine he makes almost 3x my income always has.
I work temp jobs and while working I try to contribute more to household bills and events. Often we end up taking our grown children and spouses out to meals very often ( about 80%) I pick up the check. I never say how much I paid etc.
Tonight we took our son and his spouse out for a get together for Christmas. DH picked a fairly pricey restaurant ( I had suggested more reasonably priced options) and seemed to insist everyone order whatever. I had planned on grabbing the check because I have had some OT, but he was giving the server his card before I reached my purse.
I told him as we were leaving I was going to pick up check and he started in complaining about it was $236 and I only pick up the small tabs etc. and proceeded to break down what price certain items cost placing the cost blame on my sons spouse.
I was and still am a bit confused as to WHY we should be playing who paid for what. We are not hurting for money but I too agreed that seemed high for dinner for 4. does anyone else keep tabs on what their spouse paid for etc??

2 Responses to “picking up the check”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    We are married and have always shared bank accounts. I do not work outside the home currently, so have no significant money to contribute. We don't have this issues. It is all shared money for the common goals.

  2. alliecat79 Says:

    We have a similar financial arrangement in our household, although I now make much more than I did a few years ago. We literally almost never discuss who picks up the check. I buy almost all groceries and necessities for the house as he pays all of the household bills. That being said, he usually picks up the tab when we go out. I will every once in a blue moon. But we also do not mind splurging on our anniversary or something like that for a good meal.

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